Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
