Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
