Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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