I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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