Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
