Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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