im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We had to coat check the pizza.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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