Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
