I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
how does that bad decision feel?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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