is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
