He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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