She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
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This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
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He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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