At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
