thus making me awesome and them whores
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
