HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
