i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
