If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
