Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize