No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize