It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
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Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize