i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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