It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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