mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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