brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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