I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
