Ambien. No doubt about it.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
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Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
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I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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