party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It's rum buckets o'clock
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
