it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Randomize
