Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
literally had 100 drinks last night.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
if only i could text you this smell
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
