So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
