shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
too bad you live with your parents still
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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