I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
