some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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