It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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