All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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