i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
