It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
