He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
