That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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