Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
