I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I need mimosas to revive my soul
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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