WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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