Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
