So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
