There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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