yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
