I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
