Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
