Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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