I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize