My Higher Power is John Stamos
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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