Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Still dying that you shit outside
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
