I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
