Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
