i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
