please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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