Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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