Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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