idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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