i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
