Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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