do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
